the crazy monkey
i am a stupid monkey
hehe
holding a gun
GASP
shoot me!



yummy bananas
i lub bananas
maybe you guys should gimme ba na na s~ :D
i mean, at most diarrohea right?
yummaye bananas!

Cuz i'm bananas too (; but that's a secret, so shush!


fellow monkeys!
Helmi
yi ying=)
Joey
ShaoYu
Maria
Fazee
bryan
kitman'phee heeeu!'
chandini
aishah
sishi
hui jun
arina
weiya
wanting
saifuddin
hamdi
geok ting
daniel
chrissy
alawiyah
fatin
mamat
annette


the calling



19 August 2006
alone

respect you sae....respect...how many times have you accused me and i jus let it go...i didnt sae a fuck word cause i know tat u are in a shit hole...i shutup...kept everythin in....respect???you dare say it in my face tat hab never given u resppect....all this while...things u do unknowingly piss me off...when i get angry and wanna hit someone... u asked me not to cause he was ur friend...i didnt....i stopped...cause i noe u would be in a difficult position....ya...i poke my nose into ur life...but hu the fuck came to me to ask me wat to do....is carin and wantin to check up on how things are fer you pokin...and bein rude... how many times have i thought and asked how u felt when i was about to do somethin....every single time when u asked me....me not showin u respect now????is tat you wat you tryin to sae....have you shown me respect than????thought about how i felt...keepin all the shit in....huh...have you really asked how i really felt....you jus do things and think im not there....on the way bak tat dae....have you ever thought how i felt... asked me wat actually happen....why i got pissed...no!you spat in my face and asked...why!why you doin this to us.....why why why i always like tat....am mi someone hu you noe tat does somethin like tat....get pissed fer no rhyme or reason...imagine ppl are givin me attitude...starin at me when their heads are not in the direction of where i am...tats wat they sae...sho dear to u tat you dun gib a fuck about the other ppl aroound you...have you cared whether i was hurt????i was let down....have you...hurt you by hurtin him....have you thought how many times i was....ya i treat ppl.like shit...i brin them close and ditch them....tats wat you say...hey fuck..!i did wat i did...cause i was bein responsible....i know...i know for sure in the situation i am facin in life now...and our characters....i dun think like how u do....i dun...i did wat i did cause i didnt want to make her cry again...cause i noe i will....i have to responsible fer my fuck actions...when i noe tat this would be better....than if i chose to make her cry...i took this...you think i felt gd....doin..tat....huh....you think i like it..have you asked me wat i was doin...you jus sae...why you do this to her...repect???no...ive been salvagin wat i can in this 'siblingship'.. but u...u are the wan hu is throwin everythin ive put in... did u notice...have you known....please...fuck care bout how i feel...butplease. spare a thought fer those around yu...and those hu have been tryin to keep the frenships goin on betweeen u...please dun tell me wat to do or wat im doin....cause i think through everythin befer i do things...i do things when i can accept wat will happen..do you noe how many times i have said sorry to u fer somethin which i have never done....and i sae sorry fer nothin...puttin dwn my pride to make things easier...how many times have i gone to u....and asking forgiveness from u where theres nothin to forgive...im sick and tired.... have you spared a thought fer me...or is it about ur happiness then?im tired of me always takin the first step to make things better...im human...im alone...i stand fer myself and take responsiblity fer my actions...and i think of the ppl around me....and how they will feel...ive given up wat i can...i have my limits...and problems....i dun gib problems to ppl and wanna hit em fer nothin...if you ACTUALLY knew me..i onli do this when ppl do things which i cannot tolerate or stand....i dun get angry fer ppl hu stare at me...u think im sho wu liao to do tat...if tats sho...wouldnt i be hittin everyone....have yo uever thought what he actually did and has been doin to make me sho angry...ive bben toleratin....i dun care...i have neber cared bout whether they wanna kick me out of school...cause im tired of school...and the problems...i ve always spared a thought fer u...have you...have you respected me...and i dare u to sae it in my face tat wat im doin is fair to show respect...when i dun get any?



kawan abang mi..i treat u as a fren bro...everytime when i see u fucked up....i noe i am partially involved and is the cause of ur probs...i noe it sucks whenu show sho much care and attention to ppl...and they jus spit i ur face and put u down...and have neber cared how u felt....as a fren...i jus wished u would tell me....wats happenin...at least tell me fer the sake cause im in the picture...i dun wan to be irresponsible and not care...even if it is to listen to u when she does shit...and fucks u around..if tat is all i can do...i feel bad...to see...u in a shit state cause of me bein jus me...u can sae its not my fault...but im human...i have feelings...i m not cold hearted....i noe...i noe tat me bein me is jus shit fer u cause of her...but i jus shuttup cause i noe tat im not suppose to noe...but im seriously crapped out too...tel mi at least alright...i think i deserve to noe...yup...stay strong bro...things will work out...trust me..

and i wanna sae thank u to the ppl hu actually talked to me fer over an hour to here my side of the story...and how i felt...u are the last person i thought would wanna care bout this shit...but ya...i appreciate it...and im somehow proud cause i noe ppl like u...yup...i noe..u tryin to put everythin and havin to try and try again...and youre unappreciated...i noe how it feels...it comes a point in time...u have to be selfish to and hab ur own life alright.im not saein gib up wat uve been doin...ok...u get wat i mean...dun blame urself and feel fucked up cause at least u tried...the problem or the situation wont solve is the other parties dun wan to solve it either...cause it would be jus comin frm u...and they dun really wanna do anythin bout it and nothin will happen...jus try...at least you are and u care bout the 4 of u..rather than ur own happiness...yup...smile alright...thanks=)although u are the smallest...you are the onli one who can think.. i noe it sucks to see the ppl infront of u crumble...right in front of u but u cant do a shit thing...but ya...at least u tried...i noe its frustratin and fucked up ya...one dae one dae...yup..


to the ppl who actully care...thanks and i appreciate it ok..jus tat i dunno how to thank u all in way..this is all i can do...

thanks ppl..

its my last resort...im tired of leavin things how they ae and i suffer fer the sake of other ppl...

i wish i could smile and really mean it...to be really happy and enjoy life again..

Lord...please be with me..

keep me strong and bless the ppl which i care about..


did you see the CRAZY MONKEY???
8/19/2006 10:23:00 am