04 August 2006
tied down~
everythins fucked up..sho fucked up..im tired..im used to bein alone..sho long tat ive gotten used to it..its sho weird now tat ppl even give a damn.yup..maybe you guys feel guilty but its ok cause i dun blame you all..
ppl come to me and rant and cry time and time again..callin me BIG BROTHER..call me and msg me when you have probs...than kickin me aside...like tissue...spit in my face and use me to clean up junk and shit..than callin me a irritation..when i check on you again..nvm..i dun blame you.
cause i know and i understand tat when someone feels like shit..you wish tat there was someone to listen to you..jus shutup and listen..i noe..everyone makes mistakes..and i dun blame anyone..cause if there is a shit prob..the onli person you can blame is yourself..cause you allow it to turn out like tat..
i miss the times..when things were ok..i thought everythin was fine.
but now..you spit in my face..and even say tat i thouroughly insulted you..and i called you a bitch indirectly..you noe..you noe tat i trust you and believe tat you noe tat wats good fer you and wats wrong..maybe sometimes by ur sotong nature you dun but ya..i dun blame you..i dunno...but now when i see you and you sae hi andwave wit ur big smile...i feel betrayed..sad and disappointed..maybe its jus me and im accusin you..but i treat you as family cause i dun have a family who cares and gib a damn..ya..you used to tell me everythin..i dun blame you fer not telloin me things anymore..jus because i trust you and treat you like my own sister..doesnt mean tat you really gib a damn and feel the same way...things have changed..yup..although i thought tat out of everyone you..would come to me and punch me in the arm wit ur skinny arm and wish me happy birthday...you didnt..i thought you would gib a damn..but you didnt..i dun blame you ya...i noe tat i dun gib a shit tats its my birthdae but a wish frm you personally would be nice..who cares right..its over anyway..yup im tired..i miss the times when we were ok and laughin..and you told me everythin and come to me when you were down..i never found you to be troublesome..never...maybe you found somethin or someone tat makes you happi now..im happi fer you..at least you smile genuinely now ya..things tat you would wanna tell me whether confrimed or not..you used to tell mi...but ya..if you wanted me to noe about stuff..you would tell me..but if you dun..i understand..im not goin to poke my nose into things like you said...and be kpo..i never meant to be..jus wanted to check if you were ok...cause i treat you as family..and i noe life stinks fer you now...and all this while i jus tried to make you smile and be happi i noe tat im no one to do tat..but i care..yup..sho i jus do things in the shadows and try to make things easier..yup..i noe tat im not the same person you used to view and treat me as..but ya..im still here if things screw up ya..
i missed the times~
im tired~and i wish things were the same like the past..youve changed..i dun blame yo u..but change back fast ya..
im sorry ppl if ive done anythin wrong..yup..tell me if i have cause im in a shithole..
imsorry~
~oddik lil(elims)yrros i eon evi democeb a noitatirri~
thanks ppl~but im used to being alone~
and yess ppl!i screwed up my hair!
did you see the CRAZY MONKEY???
8/04/2006 11:31:00 pm
